It was almost Christmas time
There I stood in another line
Trying to buy that last gift or two
Not really in the Christmas mood
Standing right in front of me
Was a little boy waiting anxiously
Pacing around like little boys do
And in his hands he held
  A pair of shoes

And his clothes were worn and old
He was dirty from head to toe
And when it came his time to pay
I couldn't believe what I heard him say

Sir I wanna buy these shoes for my Momma please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry Sir?
Daddy says there's not much time
You see, she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes will make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful
If Momma meets Jesus, tonight.

And so begins Newsong's hit song Christmas Shoes, one of the few songs in pop music history to hit the top 40 on the pop, adult contemporary, Christian and country charts during the same week.  It is a Christmas standard, a TV movie was made in 2002 based on the story, and it has been rereleased by the legendary country band Alabama.  It is also the worst song ever written in the English language, and the worst example of "Christian" music as well.

This song is clearly written to be a tear jerker rather than a theological statement.  (Of course, most attempts at religious Christmas songs after 1820 have been theologically weak. ) And, while the Christian music industry is filled with simplistic lyrics often based more on nationalistic values and / or sentimentality rather than biblical truth, the shoes song borders on heresy.   She needs new shoes to face Jesus on judgment day?  Really?  According to these lyrics, it seems, you can take it with you.  Does her eternal salvation rely on her fancy new high heels?  And what kind of mother lets her son  whose "clothes were worn and old" and who was "dirty from head to toe" go to the mall to get fancy new shoes that she'd never probably take a single step in?

If fact, isn't this a perfect picture of what's wrong with Christmas in our culture, dressed in religious emotionalism?  Even on her death bed, this woman's Christmas won't be complete without more stuff; in this case shoes she'll have - if she's as sick as the songwriter implies - for a week, tops.  After all, "Daddy says there's not much time." If I was in line behind this kid, I'd say, "Forget the stinking shoes.  Go home and sit by your mom's bed.  Hold her hand, tell her about your day.  Play Yahtzee if she's up to it, but new shoes are the last thing you or your mom need to be occupied with right now."  Of course, in the song, the kid doesn't have enough money for these all important shoes, so the guy behind him in line pays for them.  (Cue steady stream of tears now.)

The truth is, my mother died when I was a boy, not too long after the holiday season.  That Christmas she really didn't have much time, and by this point, she had come to grips with this.  She wasn't concerned with new shoes, hoping they would do the trick in winning the Lord's approval.  She was concerned, instead, with her husband and five sons being together and enjoying Christmas as a family.  Even as a kid, I understood that new stuff wasn't a high priority at that point.  Instead, I made sure I took a few minutes now and then to tell her how the family ping pong tournament I had organized was going. 

Okay, out of all the crisis's in the world -and for that matter in the church - today, this schmaltzy song may seem like a little thing, but, as my daughters say, it's another example of how, when writing Christmas songs, lyricists seem to remove their brains from their heads and leave them in the other room until January rolls around. 

Merry Christmas.