Some weekends at during the summer are spent resting and catching up on normal life after spending five and a half days in the role of camp director.  Last weekend was not like that at all. We had three shows in two countries, albeit all within an hours drive of each other.  But the wildest ride may have been in my own head and heart.

The camp that I direct in Mapleton, Maine, rented out its facilities to the Northern Maine Cub Scout Jamboree.  75 boys from first to sixth grades camped here, along with, of course, many adult chaperones.  They were excellent guests here at Baptist Park, and left the camp as clean as when they arrived.  As I have done for the past several years, I did a juggling show for their whole group at their closing service.  It was a 20 minute gig, including drawing five names for $50 discounts to camp.  Unfortunately, my opening routine - three rings to a song by the Soweto Gospel Choir - was as bad a routine as I can remember in the past many years.  I think I dropped seven times in a less-than-four-minute routine.  This set the tone for my thoughts for the rest of the show and into the afternoon.  I was so disappointed in myself.  Yes, I was tired from a week of camp; Yes, the Cub Scouts still enjoyed the overall show; but I really felt like I had failed.

Now, I thank God for my wife who has learned to live with my perfectionist attitudes and self doubts.  We spent the afternoon together, and I got my head back on Truth instead of the lies I was telling myself.  The same evening, we had a 20 minute set in the Easton, Maine Old Home Days variety show.  This is small town Americana at its best.  The opening act was a group of teen and tween girls singing a worship song medley.  there was a high school kid doing card tricks no one in the audience could really see but everyone applauded, and an old timer singing "The County Song", about life in Maine's largest and northernmost county.  I don't remember the lyrics exactly, but there were several references to potatoes throughout the song.

After intermission it was my turn.  I opened with "Stuff" in which I juggle ordinary household items like hula hoops, basketballs and tennis rackets.  It was so much better than my efforts earlier that day.  I kept the Gospel message casual, but I didn't avoid it.  The county is the Bible belt of Maine, and there were a few other faith based routines as well.  I ended with a hodge-podge of juggling to some instrumental music by Cusco.  It wasn't a choreographed routine, but rather a fit-in-as-many-things-in-a-few-minutes-as-possible routine.  I used my new Fathers' Day clubs for the first time, and the audience loved it.  I felt redeemed.

Then, on Sunday, Sue and I were up early to get to New Brunswick, Canada to do a show at the Woodstock, Wesleyan Church.  This is an annual gig, and the challenge is always to get there on time.  New Brunswick is in the Atlantic time zone, so they are an hour ahead of us.  On the way there, the highs and lows of the day before were very much on my mind.  Furthermore, having gotten up early didn't help the fact that I was still recovering from an exhausting week of camp.

In the end, we got there in plenty of time, and did over an hour of one of the best technical shows I've done in years.  Beyond that, I think we left the audience with a clear message of grace that can only come through Jesus.

I hope I can remember this same message the next time I am tempted to despair over a poor performance, or some other disappointment that is way smaller in the big scheme of things than I perceive it to be at the time.