An elderly man, whose home was the street

Asked the Episcopalians for something to eat,

But they offered the homeless man nothing to eat;

they were too busy preparing to go on retreat.

They said, "Go see the Catholics when they get out of mass;

"Yes, go see the Catholics, they're the ones with the cash."

But the Catholics offered him nothing at all.

They were saving their pennies for a new parish hall.

They said, "Why don't you go give the Baptists a call.

"They might just help, being 'fundies' after all."

But the Baptist said they had nothing to share;

They just said, "Get a job and go cut your hair.

"Or see the Methodist church, those old bleeding hearts;

"Yes the Methodist church is the place you should start."

At the Methodist church, the man still wasn't served.

The food in their kitchen had all been reserved

For the youth group picnic and the ladies' lunch,

The singles mixer and the senior brunch.

The Lutherans also gave him no food that day

And the Pentecostals turned him away.

But the truth is, we'll meet this homeless man some day

and we'll have to explain why we turned Him away.