Back in the days of the 'Jesus movement' of the early 70s, Christian music changed forever.  Black Gospel became top 40, with acts like Andre Crouch and th Disciples, Edwin Hawkins, and the Staples Family.  Jesus freaks began writing folk - rock music, and this genre gave us Larry Norman, Randy Stonehill and Honeytree among many others.  And a pretty blond named Twila Paris became popular on Christian radio.  She was neither a hippy with a guitar nor a southern-Gospel-singer-turned-pop-star.  Neither was she a singer of traditional hymns.  Her music was sweet, unique, and beautiful.

Probably her best known song is 'The Warrior is a Child'.  (See and hear it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRNFf3ykQvM )  Last night, I found myself doodling some of the lyrics: "they don't know that I go running home when I fall down..."  and "I drop my sword and cry for just a while.  'Cause deep inside this armor, the warrior is a child."

This song was on my heart because right now I am that little child dressed in armor, perhaps jousting a windmill or two, but coming home exhausted and ready to cry.  There's no one crisis in my life, which only makes me feel more like a baby.  OK, I'm sad to see our two oldest girls go back to college.  There's the winter doldrums at school, where students don't want to be there, and teachers even moreso.  There's the fact that I'm just plain tired for no one obvious reason.  There's the fact that every rehearsal reminds me that my peak juggling days have passed.  But in the end it's just one of those times when sadness is my primary emotion.

Of course, at 50 I'm able to recognize it for what it is.  "The heart is decietful above all things."  As Don Francisco wrote, "Love is not a feeling, it's an act of your will."  These blues serve as a reminder that I have a wonderful wife and a wonderful life.  It's a reminder of how dependant I must be on God.  It's a reminder of what great friends I have.  I'm not sure I'd fully get these things if I didn't go through this from time to time.  "Trials lead to perseverence, which leads to character, and character finds its fulfillment in hope."  In this I find joy.