Baseball fans like to make 'all time' this or that lists such as Baseball's all time ugliest starting nine, or the all time Latino team, or Major League Baseball's all time best base stealers by position.  For years (serioiusly) I've contemplated and debated within myself the all time best nine players whose last names sound like girls names.  I suppose the fact that the sport's greatest player ever had the last name "Ruth" may have been the catalyst for this train of thought.  More recently, I've also come up with the starting nine all time best last-name-sounds-like-a-boys-first-name team as well.

Any time one takes on the challenge of making a list like tbis, there needs to be ground rules.  First of all How do I define a boy's name or a girl's name, or even a first name at all?  These days kids are given almost anything for a name:  "North", "Moon Unit" and "Blue Ivy" come to mind.  Given this trend, I suppose "DiMaggio" or "Hornsby" could be someone's first name.  Modern day parents looking for a unique name could call their kid  "Boccabella" if they wanted to (John Boccabella was a very mediocre catcher for the Montreal Expos in the 1970's.)  I decided I would go with names that most people would recognize as a first name of someone they might know or know of.

My next challenge was what I would do with gender neutral names.  Case in point, for a brief moment I had Joe Morgan starting at second base for both the guys name and the girls name teams.  I have since decided to try my best to go with what are (at least for now) gender specific names whenever possible, although you will notice I have Pat P Kelly on the girls name team even though Kelly is traditionally a boy's name in much of New England.

I quickly decided the names had to be just the first name without any prefixes or suffixes.  Therefore names like Williams, Johnson, De La Rosa and Wills were eliminated from consideration.  I also tried not ot repeat any name, although in one case I did.  A bigger challenge was what to do with last names that have started to catch on as first names: Carter, Lincoln or Davis, for example. In the end, I avoided them when possible.

Finally, I did minimal research to compile these lists.  You may immediately think of someone I've overlooked who is a better ball player with an equally fitting name.  Please send me an e-mail with your input.  I'd love to hear from you.  That said, here is the all time "your-name-sounds-like-a-girl" team:

P:  Babe Ruth

C:  Buster Posey

1B:  .Mark Grace

2B:  Lee Lacey

3B:  Pete Rose (He played a variety of positions throughout his career, including being the third baseman for the big red machine once Tony Perez was moved to first base.)

SS:  Marty Marion

OF:  Fred Lynn, Bobby Allison and Pat P. Kelly

 

And the all time "yout last name sounds like a boy's name" team:

P:  Nolan Ryan

C:  Elston Howard

1B:  Frank Thomas

2B:  Horace Clarke

3B:  George Brett

SS:  Gene Michael

OF:  Frank Howard, Hank Aaron, Amos Otis

Honorable mention:  Grover Alexander, Dick Allen, Dion James, Doyle Alexander, Clay Carroll, Dizzy Dean, J R Richard, Tommy John

Rest assured, this is not a veiled statement about gender politics or millenials penchant for weird names.  This truly is the type of thing I can think about for hours at a time and entertain myself the entire time.